By Lee Bok
Are ya' bovvered? Are you ill of faculty or paintings and unimpressed with lifestyles usually? Are you bored stiff with humans looking forward to unreasonable issues from you - like having a wash, getting off the bed, purchasing stuff? ARE YA' BOVVERED? has all of the solutions you want to justify doing bugger all (provided you may be stricken to learn the book).
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Additional resources for Are Ya' Bovvered?: 500 Reasons Not to Give a Shit
Pmd 44 23/02/2006, 19:32 500 REASONS NOT TO GIVE A SHIT 5 REASONS NOT TO BUY YOUR OWN FAGS 1. Every fag you mooch increases someone else’s life expectancy. 2. You just quit smoking and if you buy a packet you’ll start again. 3. You smoke right down to the filter, so there’s less wastage. 4. Mooching is merely a more efficient means of passive smoking. 5. You’re saving yourself for your sixteenth birthday. pmd 45 23/02/2006, 19:32 ARE YA’ BOVVERED? 10 REASONS NOT TO GO TO CHURCH 1. It’s full of big-assed hypocrites and smelly pensioners pretending to worship something they don’t really believe in, just to show off how holy they are, so they can get into heaven, which doesn’t exist, so what a big waste of time that is.
5. Nothing says “I don’t give a shit about you” better than receiving one of a box of twenty identical Christmas cards containing a poorly written and mawkish inscription. The expensive cards, with the sender’s name and address printed in copperplate are even worse, because they mean “I don’t give a shit about you, and I also earn more money than you do”. 6. pmd 42 23/02/2006, 19:32 500 REASONS NOT TO GIVE A SHIT opportunity to send you a roundrobin letter boasting about all the great things they’ve been doing during the year, to remind you how little you’ve achieved in the last twelve months, like how they’ve just bought their little virtuoso brat her first Stradivarius and treated themselves to an unassuming little holiday home in Sardinia.
Last time you nearly cut off your balls. 2. None of the other French girls do it. 3. You will, just as soon as somebody gives you a job. 4. Mammals are supposed to be hairy. 5. You’re a haemophiliac; one nick and you could bleed out. 6. Shaving causes red bumps and ingrown hair follicles. 7. Your facial hair is a channel of holiness. pmd 34 23/02/2006, 19:32 500 REASONS NOT TO GIVE A SHIT 8. ” (Leviticus 19:27). 9. In a lifetime a man spends 3,300 hours shaving. 10. Shaving removes as much skin as it does hair.
Are Ya' Bovvered?: 500 Reasons Not to Give a Shit by Lee Bok